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Pitt And Jolie Are Getting Married On Christmas?

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

Early reports are indicating that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are planning a fairytale Christmas wedding in South Africa. An insider said: "They are treating their marriage like a spiritual affirmation and don't need big Hollywood glitz like Tom Cruise had in Italy."

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Beyonce Has Problems

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

I'm glad to see Beyonce is putting all of her money to good use. I've talked to experts who run wig shops in Europe, and they all tell me this is a big no no. In fact, one smart person with glasses told me they are pretty sure that thing is really an alien coming out of her forehead.

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Jessica Simpson's Mom Is A Bitch

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

Tina told her daughter that the performance was "embarrassing" and "unprofessional," and mom was further incensed because Jessica had missed a dress rehearsal and hadn't adequately learned lyrics to the song -- which necessitated cue cards at the front of the stage.

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Paris Hilton Wants Kids

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

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Vida Guerra Is Not Happy With FHM

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

Whoa?! Really? FHM airbrushed your ass and thighs? And your face? How could you have ever fallen for their diabolical plan? This is like the time my arch nemesis rigged the city election and became mayor. He had everyone fooled. Everyone but me.

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Johnny Depp Is A Little Bitch

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

Johnny Depp is such a little girl that he demanded that his trailer be bigger than Vince Vaughn's on the set of their new movie, Sweeny Todd. So to make him feel better, Johnny asked that his trailer is bigger than Vince's, which is only a few yards away.

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Britney Is In Trouble With Child Services, Again

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

A source close to the singer said: "The department has been calling Britney trying to set up a meeting with her, so they can check on [Spears' baby sons Sean Preston and Jaden James]. But that's not all, even her family is freaking out.

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Keeley Hazell Is Jessica Simpson

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

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Jen And Vince Are Done

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

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Jennifer Lopez Needs To Pull Her Pants Up

Posted Saturday December 9, 2006, 1:23 pm, Over one day old

If the world were a fair place, people like Jennifer Lopez would be cleaning bathrooms while people like me were worshipped. She's basically the most overrated girl on earth. She has no talent. I can find a paraplegic boy with down syndrome who can do a better job planning a wedding.

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